Recently, I had the absolute joy of seeing Simon Armitage, the UK’s Poet Laureate, read from his work live at Derby Theatre as part of the Derby Book Festival. It was the culmination of some lovely work I’d been doing with a poet from Derby — and a real full-circle moment for me.
I first encountered Armitage’s work back in the early 1990s through his piece for television, Xanadu. I’ve been a fan ever since. Hearing him read in person was a treat — and made me read again one of his best-loved poems, Let Me Put It This Way, I was, of course reminded just how powerful poetry can be in the context of a Wedding or Vow Renewal ceremony.
This particular poem appears at the very end of his 1993 collection, Book of Matches — a series of vivid, brilliant meditations on love, time, and everyday intimacy.
Let Me Put It This Way concludes the section titled Reading the Banns, a poetic account of Armitage’s own wedding. And in my opinion, few things capture the quiet, selfless truth of love quite like this:
Let Me Put It This Way by Simon Armitage
Let me put it this way
if you came to lay
your sleeping head
against my arm or sleeve,
and if my arm went dead,
or if I had to take my leave
at midnight, I should rather
cleave it from the joint or seam
than make a scene
or bring you round.
There,
how does that sound?
This is not grand, sweeping, cinematic love. It’s real love — tender, ordinary, willing to go through discomfort just to preserve a moment of peace. It’s showing up in the most quietly meaningful way.
So why do we include poetry in wedding ceremonies?
As a celebrant, I’m often asked why poetry features in so many ceremonies. And the answer isn’t just “because it’s tradition.” Here’s what poetry really brings to a wedding:
1. It elevates the moment
Poetry gives us language when everyday words aren’t enough. At a wedding, that’s incredibly powerful. It distils emotion, intention, and connection in a way that feels meaningful and timeless.
2. It connects
A great poem doesn’t just reflect the couple — it resonates with the people gathered to witness their union. It reminds us of our own love stories, or simply moves us in a way we weren’t expecting.
3. It reflects identity
Choosing a poem that mirrors the couple’s relationship, humour, values, or quirks helps shape a ceremony that feels unique and personal — like something only they could have.
4. It invites reflection
In a fast-paced day full of logistics and emotion, a poem can act as a breath — a quiet, grounding pause that brings everyone back to the heart of why they’re there.
5. It links us to tradition or legacy
Whether it’s a piece from a favourite author, a family member’s writing, or a cultural reference, poetry often carries deeper personal or cultural meaning.
Choose what speaks to you
Finding the right reading for your ceremony doesn’t need to be stressful or overly literary. You’re not trying to impress your guests — you’re trying to connect with them. Choose something that feels like you. Like your relationship. Like the life you’re building together.
It might just be Let Me Put It This Way.
And if you ever need help finding “the one” (poem, that is — hopefully you’ve already sorted the other one!), I’m here to help.
Photo credits: Zoe Harris Photography
